Weddings at Messiah
On behalf of Church of the
Messiah I offer my hearty best wishes and look forward to working with you as
you plan to be married in this parish. It is a privilege to be part of this
sacramental occasion with you, and I pray God’s grace will be a source of
strength, encouragement, support and joy in your life together.
Christian Marriage is a public, solemn covenant between a
woman and a man, entered into in the presence of God. It cannot be merely a
private contract, since it creates a new family within the larger family of
humankind, to which the Christian community belongs. For that reason weddings
customarily take place at the church altar, in the presence of witnesses and
invited guests. Marriage is the highest expression of love between a man and a
woman, a sign of God’s love for all creation, and more specifically, of Christ’s
love for God’s people, the Church.
The spiritual dimension of human life, as distinguished from
the intellectual and physical dimensions, is at the core of Christian Marriage.
God’s Spirit transforms human marriage into Holy Matrimony. Together with love,
companionship, mutual support, and the formation of a stable family unit, God
can be known as directly present in the person of your spouse. Christian
Marriage, therefore, is a solemn, life-long commitment by two people to love one
another and remain faithful to the promises they make.
Before a wedding date is set, it is essential that you meet
with the clergy person officiating. This initial meeting is to ascertain that
all requirements of Canon Law and Church of the Messiah can be met. Following
this meeting a date and time can be entered on the parish calendar.
Our goal is for each wedding at Church of the Messiah to be a
reverent and uniquely beautiful event, so it is important that all details
concerning the ceremony be handled with care and understanding. To this end,
consultations with the clergy, Minister of Music, and Wedding Coordinator
Volunteer are of essential importance. What follows are answers to questions
which are most frequently asked. We look forward to working with you as you make
your plans.
The Rev. Keith A. Marsh
I. ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS
1. One of the parties must be a baptized Christian. In addition, either the bride or groom, or a member of their family, must be members of Church of the Messiah.
2. Both parties must sign a “Declaration of Intention” stating their commitment to fulfill the requirements of a Christian marriage.
3. The Canons of the Episcopal Church require the officiating priest be given at least 30 days notice prior to the wedding date (60 days if there has been a previous marriage) and that the couple be instructed as to the nature of Holy Matrimony and the Christian vision of life together as a married couple.
Pre-marital counseling sessions are required with the priest who is to perform the ceremony. The number of sessions will be at the discretion of the clergy. Normally four or five sessions are conducted. Referral to a licensed pastoral counselor may be made in some circumstances.
4. Persons previously married and divorced must secure written permission to marry from the Bishop of Pennsylvania. The Bishop’s consent will be granted upon the recommendation of the officiating priest and his/her attestation that the couple intends to make the Episcopal Church the religious center of their lives, as demonstrated by their present regular attendance
at worship, and their support of the work and ministry of the Church. A clear and balanced understanding of the reasons for the breakdown of earlier marriage(s) will be a vital consideration in the priest’s letter requesting the Bishop’s consent.
II. WEDDING CUSTOMS AT MESSIAH
1. The Marriage Rite is found beginning on page 434 in The Book of Common Prayer. Canon Law binds us to adhere to the rubrics of the rite.
2. Church of the Messiah comfortably accommodates 350 people.
3. Normally, the Messiah clergy will preside at the service. With the Rector’s permission and personal invitation, guest clergy may assist. On occasion, a guest member of the clergy may even officiate. But one of the Messiah clergy will always be present to welcome the congregation, and to assist in whatever way appropriate.
4. Except for compelling reason, marriages are not solemnized during the season of Lent, and never during Holy Week.
5. In deference to guests, weddings begin at the scheduled hour. Additional music is not provided to cover lateness, and we urge you to be certain your wedding party has clear
directions to the Church.
6.
The Church aisle is carpeted, so the white runners provided by florists add nothing to the wedding service but the danger of tripping. They are not permitted.
7. A celebration of the Holy Communion with the Marriage rite is a full and graceful expression of
the Church’s understanding of Holy Matrimony. All baptized Christians are invited to receive Communion.
The complete liturgy, with Holy Communion, normally takes 45-60 minutes, depending on various choices made by the bride and groom.
8. Photographs and, in a high-tech age, videos preserve the precious moments of a wedding. Unfortunately, flashes and high intensity lights are distracting. We permit photography and video recording using existing light only. Photographers and technicians must confer with the priest beforehand, and be completely unobtrusive during the service. Guests with cameras will be asked to refrain from picture taking during the liturgy, although photos during the processions in and out are acceptable. 9. Rice, confetti, flower petals and other congratulatory missiles may not be thrown on Church property. We ask ushers in the bridal party to discourage their use.
10. Printed programs are normally unnecessary. A wedding is a very visual occasion and guests are far more interesting in seeing it than reading about it. Where necessary, the clergy can direct the congregation to page numbers in the Prayer Book and Hymnal. If a printed program is desired nonetheless, the actual printed program is the responsibility of the family, not the Church office.
11. The Marriage license must be delivered to the Parish Office no later than the wedding rehearsal (and preferably earlier. The priest cannot officiate with the license.
12. Wedding consultants, when used, should be made aware that the conduct of the wedding rehearsal and service is the responsibility of the officiating priest alone.
III. MUSIC
When a date and time have been established, please make an appointment to meet with the Minister of Music as quickly as possible. Details for your wedding music are arranged at this meeting. The Church organist is the presiding organist at all weddings, and can attend the rehearsal if requested* (see item 1 in fees below). Guest musicians (organists, vocalists, instrumentalists) if requested, must be invited by the Minister of Music. Fees for guest musicians are the responsibility of the bride and groom, and do not reduce or replace the fee for the Church organist or Minister of Music.
Music for weddings must be selected from the repertoire of the Minister of Music. The music, like the ceremony itself, should be an act of worship. In keeping with the religious nature of the ceremony, and considering our wonderful heritage of sacred music, the Episcopal Commission on Church Music strongly discourages the use of secular tunes, or so-called “traditional wedding marches.” The Minister of Music is the final arbiter on questions of what music is appropriate. In keeping with the true meaning of worship, and to increase the participation of the congregation, the singing of suitable hymns is strongly encouraged.
IV. FEES AND HONORARIA
1. The Minister of Music's consultation fee is $100
2. The Church Organist’s fee is $200*, which includes playing and/or accompanying all music at the wedding. *If the organist is requested to attend the wedding rehearsal, there is an additional $100 fee. Fees for additional musicians (singers, instrumentalists, etc.) are determined by the individual musician--the fee range is generally $150-250. The Minister of Music will assist in contracting additional musicians.
3. In those unusual circumstances where neither the bride or the groom or their families are members of Church of the Messiah, a fee of $250 is requested for use of the Church.
4. A fee of $75, payable to the Church, is charged for every wedding. This helps pay for the preparation and cleaning of the Church.
5. The groom customarily presents the priest with an honorarium. The amount is left to the discretion of the groom, but in response to many requests as to what is proper, the amount ought not to be less than the Church organist’s fee.
6. Where hardship exists, all fees may be waived at the discretion of the priest. Fees should be paid by individual checks, rather than in a lump sum. The Parish office can provide the names, and the checks should be brought to the office, together with the license, no later than the time of the wedding rehearsal.
V. FLOWERS
Flowers for two bouquets, provided by the family, are used at the altar, in vases provided by the florist. Arrangements are to be at least 24” but no higher than 29”. The Church office must be notified of the name of the florist. All wedding flowers are given to the glory of God and therefore are for the church’s use after the wedding.
VI. REHEARSALS
A rehearsal is scheduled after initial consultation with the clergy. It normally takes place the day before wedding, and is usually scheduled later than 6:00 pm. Please ask participants to arrive 10 minutes ahead of time. The officiating priest directs the rehearsal.
VII. THE FUTURE
The word “vocation” means “calling,” and refers to an activity, responsibility or relationship to which God calls us. Marriage and parenting are two of the most important vocations to which we can be called. And yet marriage and parenting are also activities for which we have very little preparation. We learn by “on the job training.” It’s been said that “the better a marriage is, the worse its partners will sometimes feel.” The reason for this paradox is that strong marriages are not static; there is continuing growth and change and movement. Change is usually painful, and growth is seldom easy.
Allow Jesus Christ to be the spiritual center of your marriage. In Him, by God’s grace you will find the nourishment you will need to sustain and strengthen you for your vocation during the exciting years ahead.
Church of the Messiah, PO Box 127, Gwynedd, Pennsylvania 19436-0127 U.S.A. 215-699-9204
www.messiahgwynedd.org